Ping Pong Balls

Crying always make me very tired.. make my eyes look like big ping pong balls... but i will always have a good night zzz when i cry...

mentally and physically draining!! guess i realli need some quality time to re-charge! i guess i own my body and mind tat.. :)

Juz feeling a little stupid.. a little silly... little disappointed... little foolish... little naive-thinking... a little of this and that!! But when a lot of this little things add up.. it could even be more major than one major big issue! i am not upset with anyone or anything.. juz felt i got excited for nothing! went to do research for nothing!! i juz couldn't hide my disappointment... and if tat is bothering then next time i will noe what to do....

i noe it is vexing to keep repeating the same thing over and over again... i am also trying to stop this vicious cycle!! i supposed silence is the best thing coz i have no guarantee i can stop being a jam tape recorder.

noe is unfair for my emo-ing to affect pple ard me! i apologize and i sincerely do!! i will do my best to keep it under wraps but is sad that with pple close to me, i had to do so... however if tat is necessary i will do it.. guess it is unfair for them to be the victims everytime. haiz....

noe what i do or say is not pleasing... and is not intentional yet it is. guess there are many issues to work out in this lifetime... scary thing is a lifetime might not even be enough!!! learning to not to be bothered too much about the little details... learning to see the picture in a bigger and less selfish prospective... yet learning to love and treat myself better! :) every single one is entitled to such things...

yes... as what someone told me... learn to let go.. go with the flow and naturally things will come ur way! been fighting so long... struggling for so long.. stressed out... I WAN TO OVERCOME IT!!! and it is something onli me.. and yes onli me.. can do that to help myself....

it all comes down to one cruel yet sweet fact... YOURSELF....

i learnt it hard and i shall learnt it well....